|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| I am getting close to my dream.
Though i hv no idea what the future lies for me,i still work up all my spirirts and get ready for the unknown.
Many ppl couldn't understand.Some tried every means to persuade me.Some still ridicule "the just interests things"
I admit interest doesn't equal with capbility,but i also stubbornly insist i could blend them perfectly.the point is why can't i?
-------------------------------------
Sometimes i will take the initiative to get close to sb in that i know she loves me and does everything she can to make me live comfortable.But the fact is it is only the comfort materially,not mentally.Every time after chatting for a while,no matter how hard i try to be friendly and show my willingness to know her,i sadly find i can't.the cores that assist us are way too different and we can call it values.the chat will eventually end up in my upsetness and self-doubt about my own values.if it is just a friend,i think i will just remain a acquaintance and keep thhe line just within"wave hello while meeting"But i can't,cuz she is my relative and loves me and gives me so much materially.it is better for me to give up the idea of being a good friend with my aunt,i can't,cuz i treasure too much about the values that i firmly hold and that too ridiculous and naive in her eyes,though i constantly remind her of my age of 22.
is there a clear cut between right and wrong in the question of "values"?
And again i feel grateful that my parents always stand on my side and they are so willing to hear about my opinion,trust me and respect my decision.
i really need enough freedom.
anyway,i will still try to be a good child in her eyes and enjoy being treated like an ignorant ,innocent 6 years old kid.yeah...how can a kid be a friend with an adult.
--------------------
and the last is about being single.is it a thing that is humiliating? the more u date, the better it is?it seems some ppl can't stand my singleness and okay,i surrender my fairy tale of meeting some i really like.i will start a relationship after i can have some time.But i can't promise i like him.Just have a try. | | |
| What we should do is to strike balance,in all the relationships related to ppl.
This kind of balance thought actually comes from ancient chinese philosphy of "the Eight Diagrams"
however, there shoud be some one taking the initiative to break the balance,and then the other should follow immediately to rebuild the balance.Only in this way can both part move forward,otherwise, it will be stillness,and no stillness exists in the world moving all the time, and therefore the result is to move backward.That is not what we want to see.
And i suddenly find that i am always not the one who takes the initiative, but always the one who follows up.I fear to pay out,and when being paid out, i will pay more.Luckily it still balances. | | |
| There are not many days left before the big tests.
My eyes are getting better.
I appreciate that there are friends accompanying me each day and my roomies helping me shoulder the group task which should belong to me in several classes.
the day is getting colder,my appetite is growing better.
btw,i find a new place serving very delicious food,haha,it is a new friend who took me there today.who wanna join me next time? | | |
| i have never been so tired,the college entrance examination is no compare to this one.
My eyesight is downgrading greatly.and i couldn't leave the glasses while read books or watch the computer screen.
i feel very upset and wonder what i am doing right now
anyhow,i won't give up
but my eyes...................
i told my bad mood to my mom few days ago just as a vent,and she felt very worried and sent me a package of medication of eye care,in which enfolded a letter wrote by her.
while i unwrap the package and read the letter,i cried.
I hv never received a letter wrote by my mom,not like my dad ,who often tell me stories of his childhood and joked wth me often,my mom always keeps her story to herself and were never in the mood of writing any letter to me.
While i read the letter,i walked in the campus,and at the same with tears in my eyes,i don't care about the surprised expression of the passersby as i couldn't see clearly of them.that is the good part of it.
if you ever met me in campus and i didn't say hi to u ,plz don't get mad,plz say hi to me first.or just pretend not seeing me,as i am way too pine.
thank fangfang for always accompanying me through this tough peroid.We can make it eventually,right? | | |
| Just now i met a primary school friend on xiaonei.com(a chinese website aiming at connecting old school friends ,just similar to facebook).On my page she left a message ,asking me whether i will stay in shanghai after graduation and plus,invite me a dinner.i jokingly asked her whether she had already worked and when i browsed her page,to my great surprise,on her page there are many beatiful wedding photos of her.Oh,my .....she has got married,only 1 year older than me.This is the first classmate of mine who get married.From her picture, i can see she is happy. From her weblog,i can see she has suffered much to stay in this city and worked day and night.Luckily, after a year's struggle,everything turns fine for her,with work becoming stable,a husband loving her.
while i told my roomates her story,they all awed both for her early yet happy marriage and her success.Girls are envied of her marrage and begin to talk about how to fine a decent husband .When we begin to start dreaming about getting married???shit, i am still a child.
anyway, bless her.i wish we could meet and hv a chat,hope ten years' unconnection as well as her difference role won't strike a big gap for us.
ps,i often have the illusion that after many years when i got back to hv a reunion with my roomates,they all took their babies along and i am still alone. | | |
|
